All these thoughts seem to enjoy a terrible common insinuation: Do not go as well as you are!
Every fear mentioned above, besides generating strong anxiety, leads inexorably to solitude and alienation from social relationships, condemning you to a life you do not want.
Such fears could hurt you in a very dangerous trap: confuse your real and unique personality with the consequences of your fears!
The fact that you feel inadequate, weak, vulnerable and anxious does not mean that you are an inadequate, weak, vulnerable and anxious person …
The first fundamental step is to recognize the fear that characterizes you so you can deal with it and eliminate it!
1) Being to enter intimate
The people around you will surely end up disappointing and betraying your expectations and your confidence, putting you in the condition of repenting that you are open and confided with them.
Themes that your need for affection and love will be destined to never truly be properly understood and satisfied, thus forcing you to live behind a wall of coldness and distrust.
This temperament that is detached and never overly involved, as well as creating loneliness of solitude around you, could make you live with feelings of emptiness and emotional isolation, alternating anger and distrust of others with feelings of guilt and self-criticism.
Typical Expressions …
“Expressing Your Feelings is a Weak Person”
“It’s better not to get too intimately with other people because they will end up disappointing me with hurting me or betraying my trust.”
“I feel nobody really knows me for what I am.”
“I hardly got the love I needed.” “I do not consider anyone really worthy of my trust.”
2) Being not to be important
What you feel, what you think and what you want does not matter …
The others are always and never before you!
Talking, intervening or expressing an evaluation becomes a right you do not believe you can enjoy as a person who is constantly devalued and little considered (primarily by yourself).
In addition to having difficulty expressing your disagreement, you live with a very important rule of thumb: I have to please everyone and to do so I have to be as I want them!
Here’s how you struggle to distinguish who you really are, what you like, what makes you angry and what you think is important to fight.
Trying to be extremely complacent in any circumstance will give you anxiety, fear of abandonment and refusal and anger not to be considered like the others.
Being good-natured, good-looking and good-natured every day brings you to repress emotions, developing strong internal conflicts and important mood-tone downs.
Typical expressions …
“Others always take advantage of me”
“I think I’d be described by everyone as a good and helpful person”
“I cannot say no”
“I’m like you want me”
“It makes me angry that everything I say is taken as a criminate.”
“I have many emotions that I struggle to express in order not to create conflicts.”
3) Being to be vulnerable
You have a strong fear that other people may see you as sick, weak, frail, clumsy, crazy, tedious, and inadequate.
Your vulnerability leads you to one solution: avoid social relationships to escape the judgment of others!
The fact that an evaluation can be given to you could create an anxiety to block you and confirm to yourself that you are really a “wrong” or “bad” person.
To be considered as an extremely vulnerable person, in addition to having important consequences in terms of mood reduction, takes you into a reality made of avoidance, apology, loneliness, and above all, pounding and critical thoughts on yourself.
Having this fear means having a strong desire to maintain a good social image, which you consider constantly threatened by your weaknesses or difficulties.
Typical expressions …
“Better that others do not notice my state.”
“Who knows what they’re going to think of me.”
“If people really knew what I was going to think they would be crazy.”
“In social situations, I always feel eyes on.”
“People almost always feel compassion for my state.”
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