Everyone should always take care of himself or herself, given that, regardless the break of relationships with others, that with ourselves is the only one that will surely last forever. But it is precisely when we have to face major changes, and more than ever we feel vulnerable and frightened, that we need to take care of ourselves so that we can slowly begin to live.
In the concrete, there are several things you can do to help you actively start over after the end of a love …
- Give yourself a break: Since it’s over, you feel devastated, with no strength, and you cannot even concentrate on trivial tasks. Do not get on your face and do not feel desperate if you feel that way. It is normal, and it will pass, but for the moment, it makes no sense to try to do everything as before. Grant your permission not to be at most, at least for the moment.
- Take time for what you like and make you feel good: Instead of compulsively checking the Facebook profile of the former, decide to do something that is really useful for yourself: go out with your friends, take a walk, take an ice cream. Simple things, but that will help you retry little moments of happiness that you seem to have forgotten. Schedule your day by giving yourself time for what you like to do and giving you satisfaction, and see what happens.
- It cares for body and mind: There are those who throw themselves on food, alcohol or drugs: whatever suffocates the pain, even at risk of replacing a problem with another. But that’s not what you need now. You need to come back to life and to resume your life, and to do so it is important that you feel good with yourself. Get fit with sports or physical activity and take care of your nutrition, meditation or relaxation exercises. Whatever it is, the important thing is to treat your body well as your mind: there is no better recipe.
- Do not leave: As we have seen before, people who love us like friends or family can give us a great hand to get back to us. Do not give the voice that you repeat “you need to be alone” (and then you know that not all that goes through your head is true), taking care of yourself also means maintaining a rich social life. At first we may have to struggle a bit ‘the urge to bury us under the covers, but if we really want to be good, we need also to stand with those who want well.
At first, you will only feel a big vacuum and the pain that delimits it, but that does not mean it will always be this way. The day will come when you will be well. It is just so, because everything has a beginning and an end: as your relationship is over, your suffering will end.
So, day after day, the pain will stop, he or she will stop to torment your heart and your life will fill again with beautiful things, despite the difficulties you will inevitably encounter along the way.
And maybe you’ll find that your dreams have never really broken, but they have simply changed shape, but still keep the same protagonist of you: you.
It is in times of greatest crisis that we can rediscover how much force we have in, although at first it seems impossible, given how fragile and helpless we feel. We never wanted our relationship to end, but that’s how it is, and we cannot do much. It is another harsh lesson to which life can be taught, a lesson from which to learn as much as possible without fear. To figure out what it is that has not gone and what to do next time (because there is always a “next time”) things are going to be better, an opportunity to grow and improve even if we have never asked for it.
But at the beginning, when there is only darkness around, all we can do is take time to heal and regain a little light, taking care of ourselves with patience and love.
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